Few topics spark more parent guilt and confusion than co-sleeping. One family swears by it, another insists it’s unsafe, and somewhere in the middle are thousands of tired parents just trying to make it through the night.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it OK to co-sleep?” or “How can we transition our child out of our bed?” …you’re not alone. The truth is, co-sleeping can be both beneficial and challenging, depending on the child, the family, and the sleep environment. A whole child approach to sleep helps families find what’s safest, most comfortable, and developmentally supportive for everyone involved.
What Is Co-Sleeping?
Co-sleeping simply means sleeping in close proximity to your child. That might include:
- Bed-sharing: a parent and child sleeping in the same bed.
- Room-sharing: a baby or child sleeping in their own crib or bed in the parents’ room.
Each arrangement comes with its own benefits and considerations, and what’s right for one family may not be right for another.
The Benefits of Co-Sleeping
Many families choose co-sleeping because it helps with bonding, breastfeeding, and nighttime comfort. When done safely, co-sleeping can:
- Support emotional regulation: children often sleep better when they feel secure and close to caregivers.
- Make nighttime feedings easier for breastfeeding parents.
- Help parents respond more quickly to a child’s needs.
- Build attachment and confidence for anxious or sensory-sensitive children.
For some children, especially those with sensory or regulation challenges, co-sleeping can be a temporary bridge toward independent sleep. Learn more about how sensory needs impact sleep in My Child Has Sensory Issues- What Can We Do to Help Them Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep?.
The Risks and Safety Considerations
While co-sleeping has benefits, safety must always come first, especially for babies under one year old. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing during the first year to reduce the risk of suffocation or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Another great read is our resource on safe sleep environments.
If families choose to bed-share, experts recommend:
- Always placing the baby on their back to sleep.
- Using a firm mattress with no soft bedding, pillows, or loose blankets.
- Keeping pets and other children out of the shared bed.
- Never co-sleeping on couches, recliners, or armchairs.
- Avoiding co-sleeping if a caregiver has smoked or consumed alcohol or sedating medication.
Creating a safe sleep environment is key, whether your child sleeps in your room, your bed, or their own space. Learn more about gentle, safe routines in Should I Let My Baby Cry It Out? A Whole Child Approach to Baby Sleep.
Why Some Kids Resist Sleeping Alone
If your child has been co-sleeping for months (or years), it’s completely normal for them to feel anxious about moving into their own bed. Sleep is emotional and sensory, not just a habit. From a whole child perspective, kids may struggle to sleep alone because of:
- Sensory sensitivities (light, sound, temperature changes).
- Anxiety or emotional regulation challenges.
- Attachment patterns and a strong need for parental reassurance.
- Sleep associations (they’ve learned to fall asleep only with someone next to them).
Occupational therapists and parent coaches often help families design gentle transitions that support both the child’s and parent’s nervous systems.
How to Transition from Co-Sleeping to Independent Sleep
Transitioning doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Here are gentle ways to move your child toward independent sleep:
1. Start with Proximity, Not Separation
Begin with your child’s bed in your room or right beside yours. Once they’re sleeping comfortably, gradually move the bed farther away, then into their own room.
2. Create Predictable Routines
A consistent bedtime routine signals safety and readiness for sleep. Use occupational therapy-inspired sensory strategies like a warm bath, deep-pressure massage, soft music, or white noise. (Read more in My Child Has Sensory Issues- What Can We Do to Help Them Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep?).
3. Focus on Connection
Spend extra time connecting before bedtime. Things like cuddles, a story, or a brief check-in about their day can make all the difference. When kids feel emotionally “filled up,” separation becomes easier. (Explore how connection builds regulation in Social Skills and Play).
4. Use Gradual Withdrawal
If your child needs you nearby, start by sitting on the bed as they fall asleep, then move to a chair beside the bed, then by the door, and eventually outside the room. This slow fade helps them build independence without fear. If you are working on moving from a crib to a big kid bed this strategy can work as well.
5. Support Daytime Regulation
Children who are well-regulated during the day sleep more soundly at night. Movement, sensory play, and outdoor time help release energy and balance the nervous system. (Learn how physical therapy supports healthy movement).
When to Seek Help
If sleep disruptions persist, like frequent night wakings, night terrors, or prolonged anxiety about sleeping alone, professional support can help.
- Occupational therapists (OTs) address sensory and self-regulation needs.
- Speech therapists (STs) support emotional communication and routines through language.
- Parent coaches help families set consistent yet compassionate boundaries.
- Sleep specialists can assess sleep patterns and offer individualized guidance.
For specific nighttime challenges, check out these related posts:
- Why Does My Toddler Keep Waking Up During the Night?
- What Should I Do About Night Terrors, Nightmares, or Sleepwalking?
- How Much Sleep Do School-Age Children and Teenagers Really Need?
Finding Balance for Your Family
There’s no single “right” answer to co-sleeping. What is needed is what is safe, sustainable, and supportive for your family. For some, co-sleeping is a short-term solution that strengthens connection. For others, it becomes a stress point that signals it’s time to create new boundaries.
Either way, you can make sleep safe and gentle with a few key principles: predictable routines, emotional connection, and an environment that supports regulation for both parent and child.
If you’re looking for professional guidance in designing your child’s sleep environment or building independence, visit the Whole Child Guide Directory to find occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech therapists, parent coaches, and sleep specialists who can help your family rest easy.
Related Posts from Whole Child Guide
- Should I Let My Baby Cry It Out? A Whole Child Approach to Baby Sleep
- Sleep and Autism
- How to help your newborn sleep longer stretches
- Why Does My Toddler Keep Waking Up During the Night?
- Social Skills and Play
- Feeding and the Whole Child
